Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
