just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
