you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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