I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
