I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
