: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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