i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
