You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
