Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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