Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
