Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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