and you said cock pushups were impossible
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
