Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
