lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
