Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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