This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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