Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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