Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
