so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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