Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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