I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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