She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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