I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sober January is a disaster.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
