I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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