you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she pinky promised me she was 18
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
