Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
