You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
