My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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