dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
