I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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