part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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