I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im holly from the hills drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
