so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
