i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
