Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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