you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
