I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
