Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
