1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
