one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
