idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want to be your penis for a week.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
