hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
