i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
