I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
