he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
