I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
