Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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