why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
