I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
did i walk over a car last night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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