i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
