I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
