dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
