he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
