Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
