omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
