I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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