How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
