this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
