I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
