I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
