i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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